The other day I was flipping through old pictures and saw that young Iván. He was super cute despite having way too much of everything on him haha! That young Iván was so busy having the "right look" that he completely forgot about himself... or rather focused way too much on himself. Isn't it part of adolescence to be insecure and try to hide that? I groped for attention from the handsome guys but rarely got it. Then I tried harder but the effect still didn't come. The guys I lusted after were usually, in my eyes, self-confident and radiated some kind of unawareness that was so incredibly attractive to me. I was often told that I was cute when what I really wanted to hear was that I was handsome and hot...
Time passed. Today I am over 40 and can laugh about it. Time, yes, it does a lot to you, not only in terms of appearance but also in terms of soul. Today I can appreciate compliments regardless of whether they are about me being cute or hot. I am just happy to get one.
I don't care so much about all that stuff about fitting in anymore, I let it go a long time ago. I've grown into myself and feel comfortable and confident grounded. Imagine it would take 40 years to start landing in yourself and realize that I don't have to look perfect for anyone or adapt. That's not what ultimately makes the whole thing attractive, it's more the mental energy you radiate, I'm coming to the conclusion.
Wrinkles and slightly older skin are part of me and I wear them with pride and confidence. I have come to understand that it is not what is primary. Of course I like skin care and am passionate about it, but it has become more of a way to keep my skin healthy and functioning well, but I also take care of my other organs. The heart by doing cardio. The brain by stimulating it and providing it with healthy fatty acids. The mouth by maintaining good oral hygiene, etc. I take care of my skin in exactly the same way.
It's part of a whole. The more I feel comfortable in myself when I take care of myself, the more I can let go of superficial details. Today, I am approached by those men who I myself find attractive. Maybe it's because they see through all that surface is and see more of the whole. I find it attractive to be able to see beyond the surface and instead appreciate a grounded mind.
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